


Hey Beautiful

by TheNerdyTurtle96



Series: Hey Beautiful [1]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Alcohol Mentions, Bar Scene, But characters are the minesonas not the real people, F/M, Hookups, No Smut, Not that bad pickup lines, Rare Pair, Set IRL, Sexually Suggestive, crackfic, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:41:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26619898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNerdyTurtle96/pseuds/TheNerdyTurtle96
Summary: It’s a Cleo/Jevin rare-pair crackfic, because why not. Read the tags for important triggers/information.
Relationships: ZombieCleo/iJevin
Series: Hey Beautiful [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1945999
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Hey Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Cleo and Jevin sending each other sexy and silly selfies. 
> 
> Hey ya’ll! You know what’s sexy? Respecting boundaries and clear consent! Also, bisexual representation, yeah! 
> 
> This is a lot different than my usual work, but it was actually a ton of fun to write. Formatting the text messages was a pain, though I loved the challenge of writing in what the selfie actually was of in a natural way through text message. Initially, I was really worried about this getting too “adult”, but it was a lot more fun and easier to write once I gave up on my initial, more PG idea. Unfortunately, all of my beta readers are conservative Christians who are either innocents who still need to be protected or would be horrified to know that I enjoyed writing this oneshot. Therefore, it might be lower quality than usual.
> 
> Also, SHIPPING IS OF THE MINECRAFT PERSONAS TAKEN HORRIBLY OUT OF CHARACTER ONLY! NO REAL PERSON SHIPPING!
> 
> I’m kind of nervous about posting this, but hopefully someone likes it.

The door to the apartment creaked open and Cleo hopped up from the couch to greet the entering man. Joe stumbled back a few inches from the unexpected force of Cleo wrapping herself around him, but he happily returned her embrace.

“Hey Joe! How was work?”

“It ended a lot later than usual,” the man said, yawning. 

“That sucks. How does my makeup look?”

Cleo twirled around in her navy crop top and white shorts, showing off her latest eyeliner job. Joe nodded approvingly as he hung up his backpack and coat in the entryway.

“Beautiful as always.”

“Thanks! I’m going to go out for a drink or two.”

“Did Stella invite you?” It was hard to keep track of Cleo’s friends and partners and Joe couldn’t remember what her current relationship with Stella was. 

“Nah. That was a one night thing. I’m an independent woman tonight,” the zombie woman sang as she freely spun around. Truly, it was dizzying to watch her.

“I’m going to go to bed early. Are you planning on bringing someone home?”

“I don’t know. I’ll text you if I do.” 

“Message me if you need help getting home,” Joe called after Cleo, who was already half out the door.

“I know, Dad!” 

Shutting the apartment door behind her, Cleo skipped down to the street and walked three blocks to her favorite bar. Joe never joined her since he didn’t drink and was usually very tired after working all day. The two of them weren’t dating in any way, but they ended up being roommates after everyone else on their lease moved out. As odd of a pair as they were, they had quickly become best friends. Joe was single and Cleo had various partners and hookups with both men and women. However, they always stuck by each other no matter what and didn’t meddle in each other’s love life. 

Since it was Thursday night, the bar was fairly quiet and there were several open barstools. Cleo was feeling a bit flirty, so she settled in the seat next to a man on his phone, who was casually sipping at a beer. She ordered her usual strawberry margarita from the bartender and took a lick of salt before soaking in her first taste of the alcohol. 

“How does that taste?”

Cleo was in the middle of another lick when the guy sitting next to her finally said something. Frozen in place, she shifted her gaze to see him looking amusedly at her awkward position.

“You want to try it?”

“Hell no,” the man chuckled. “That looks disgusting.”

“Licking margarita salt or me?” Cleo raised an eyebrow suggestively.

“The salt. You’re the complete opposite of disgusting.”

“Same could be said about you.” Both of them were blushing just a bit. The man extended his hand to Cleo and she firmly shook it.

“I’m Jevin.”

“Cleo.”

“Nice to meet you, Cleo. What brings you to this fine establishment on a Thursday night?”

“Just wanted a drink and some company.” Cleo took another sip of her margarita and winked at Jevin. “How about you?”

“Buddy of mine was going to meet me here, but he got busy and I’m not in a hurry to get home.”

“Where do you live?”

“I’m down on the south side of town, renting an apartment with a few guys.”

“I’m actually in an apartment only three blocks from here.”

“All by yourself?” Jevin seemed much more concerned than creepy, so Cleo felt comfortable continuing.

“No, I live with my best friend. He doesn’t drink, though, so he never goes out to the bar with me.”

“Does he know that you’re out here, hitting some random guy up?”

“We’re not dating, so he doesn’t care. If I’m bringing someone home, he just likes to know ahead of time so that he can sleep somewhere else for the night.”

“Is that your master plan for tonight?” Jevin was smiling flirtatiously at Cleo, which made her heart flutter a bit.

“Only if you want. Are you dating someone?”

“Single as a pringle and ready to mingle, as those damn kids say,” He placed his hand on top of hers and gave a big wink. “Let’s start with this: do you want my number?”

“Absolutely.” The two slid their phones over to each other and typed in their number into a new contact. When Cleo handed his phone back, she grinned as Jevin edited her name to “❤Cleo the Beautiful❤”. She gave him a light kiss on the cheek before placing her hand back on the counter. Their fingers laced together automatically as Cleo finished up the last of her drink. 

“Do you need to get home tonight?” Cleo asked.

“Nah. I don’t have work tomorrow, so I’ll be fine.” Jevin blushed as Cleo leaned in close and lowered her voice to a suggestive whisper.

“We could walk to my place.”

The man regained his cool as he pulled Cleo’s head closer and waited for her to signal consent before pressing his lips against hers. As they were in public view, they kept the kiss short and sweet, but both of them knew what the answer to Cleo’s offer would be.

“Alright. Let’s go, beautiful.”

  
**—————**

**You people can interpret what happens next however you want. Also, this next part is text messages.**

**—————**

**Messages to Joe**

**Cleo (Sent at 9:34 PM)** :

Bringing home a cutie right now

**Joe (Sent at 9:34 PM):**

That was fast

I’ll be out in two minutes

**Cleo (Sent at 9:35 PM):**

I’m just that good ;)

**Joe (Sent at 9:37 PM)**

I’m at X’s now

Have fun

Also I restocked the cabinet yesterday

**Cleo (Sent at 9:37 PM):**

tysm

**—————**

**TIME SKIP! (To the next morning)**

**————**

**Messages to Jev <3**

**Jev <3 (Sent at 10:25 AM):**

Thanks for a great night <3

**Cleo (Sent at 10:29 AM):**

;)

We can always do this again

**Jev <3 (Sent at 10:32 AM):**

Wouldn’t mind that

I have Fridays off

Same time next week?

**Cleo (Sent at 10:34 AM):**

You betcha

Better be prepared for me ;)

**Jev <3 (Sent at 10:35 AM):**

<3

I’ll bring my A game

**—————**

**Ten days later… (The Sunday evening of the week after their first meetup, for those of you who are very confused.)**

**—————**

**Jev <3 (Sent at 6:34 PM):**

Hey beautiful

Whatcha doing?

**Cleo (Sent at 6:35 PM):**

_ [One image attached] _

<3

**Jev <3 (Sent at 6:36 PM):**

What the hell is that?

**Cleo (Sent at 6:36 PM):**

Eating pop tarts while watching TV

**Jev <3 (Sent at 6:37 PM):**

Yeah, but why that angle?

**Cleo (Sent at 6:38 PM):**

I like hanging off the back of the couch, okay?

**Jev <3 (Sent at 6:39 PM):**

_ [One image attached] _

Then take a cursed selfie for yourself

(And I’ll remember that <3)

**Cleo (Sent at 6:39 PM):**

OH you

And what the f are you wearing?

**Jev <3 (Sent at 6:40 PM):**

My roommate's hoodie

He has a million pieces of crap with cats on them

And mine’s in the lunadry

**Cleo (Sent at 6:42 PM):**

I’ll levae you with your cursed hoodie

See ya Thursday <3

**Jev <3 (Sent at 6:42 PM):**

<3

**—————**

**The next evening...**

**—————**

**Cleo (Sent at 7:52 PM):**

_ [One image attached] _

Just finished up a nice shower...

**Jev <3 (Sent at 7:53 PM):**

Damn you’re looking good

Drop that towel maybe?

**Cleo (Sent at 7:54 PM):**

Haha come get me <3

**Jev <3 (Sent at 7:56 PM):**

_ [One image attached] _

Aww but I’m so comfy here in bed…

**Cleo (Sent at 7:57 PM):**

Why do you have to be so hot?

**Jev <3 (Sent at 7:57 PM):**

These abs be flexing

**Cleo (Sent at 7:58 PM):**

Are your roomates out for the night?

**Jev <3 (Sent at 7:58 PM):**

Yeah I’m watchign Netflix alone tonight

**Cleo (Sent at 7:59 PM):**

How does Netflix and chill sound?

**Jev <3 (Sent at 7:59 PM):**

You’re bad…

**Cleo (Sent at 8:00 PM):**

And cute ;)

**Jev <3 (Sent at 8:00 PM):**

True 

I’ll be waiting…

**Cleo (Sent at 8:01 PM):**

I’m coming… <3

**Author's Note:**

> Oh formatting, just kill me now. I’ve spent at least an hour formatting this stupid thing on Google Docs, Wattpad, and Ao3 combined.
> 
> I have a part 2 written as a separate oneshot. I might publish that soon if the reception of this one isn’t bad.
> 
> This ship was a rare pair that my randomizer threw at me and I love it. I’m pretty sure that Jevin is horrendously out of character and that I’ve written the bar scene ridiculously wrong, as I’m not even old enough to legally drink. Actually, I think I’ve written all of this ridiculously wrong, but whatever. This is probably a crackfic, now that I think about it. Hmm. 
> 
> If you go back and look, I never explicitly stated what happens between Cleo and Jevin, but you can run with it however you want. If you’re thinking a more adult route, I will say that there is clear consent between two mature adults who are respecting each other’s boundaries. How’s that? (Sorry to my dear aces. I’ll write one for you guys, gals, and nonbinary pals eventually.)
> 
> Last thing: if someone wants to write in smut scenes for this, I’m cool with that. Just let me know if you’re going to write it and I’ll say “go for it!” I don’t read smut ever, so I won’t read it, but if that’s your jam, go for it!


End file.
